God I wish I had something else to write about.

[pecunium]

An author friend of mine once said he wrote about things which pained him, this seems to be one of the times this is what moves me.

What we did on our vacation by way of Making Light

Words fail me.

Gretna, well right now I want to wipe them from the face of the map. It's not a good response, nor a rational one, and one which; if induldged wouldn't really make me feel any better; but the more I see of the venality of those who might have helped the colder runs my blood, the more coherent becomes my rage and the more I want an Old Testament God of wrath and smiting to manifest himself and show these people how they have failed their fellow man.

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am for myself alone, what am I? If not now, when?"

When indeed, and what are they?

Comments

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

It's not a good response, not a rational one, and one which; if induldged wouldn't really make me feel any better; but the more I see of the venality of those who might have helped the colder runs my blood, the more coherent becomes my rage and the more I want an Old Testament God of wrath and smiting to manifest himself and show these people how they have failed their fellow man.

This very feeling has been dominating my thoughts ever since the monumental scale of this fuckup starting becoming clear. It's not enough that people should lose their jobs. In my heart of hearts, I want them to suffer mightily, to lose everything dear to them, to feel great physical and emotional pain on a par with what their fellow citizens endured. It actually kind of frightens me how strongly I feel this.

[pecunium.livejournal.com]

Me too.

I chose the phrase, "cold-blooded, coherent, rage," with a fair bit of care (given that I write almost all this stuf first-draft).

I learned some time ago (in the presence of skeetermonkey that I am a heartless sonovabitch who sometimes wants to kill people.

It was a sobering discovery.

Right now, killing isn't what I want to do. I want to hurt them more than that, which means I probably need to take a break, throw a ball for the dog, kill some aphids, hug Maia and try to distract myself.

That's what I ought to do, and sooner or later I shall.

TK