Seen in several places

[pecunium]

Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson

Comments

[chipuni.livejournal.com]

*LAUGHTER!*

[porysski.livejournal.com]

I really wish that weren't so apt a comparison.

[geekchick]

All that's missing is for the entire text to be in ALL CAPS. ;)

[doryllis.livejournal.com]

Dear Sir,

In regards to your request, I am afraid that I have already given all of my information to the following banking institutions who are currently holding them in trust for me.

If you will provide me with the information of your and your families trust funds, I can have them joined with my own funds currently being held and we can accomplish this transfer without delay or denial.

I have been assured that all funds and transactions are completely insured and free from fraud and potential harm. Please send this information urgently so that we may mutually work towards our benefit.

If you have any doubts about my sincerity, please contact my references which I have inclosed in this letter. Also, please find attached the list of banking institutions who hold my funds. I assure you that a check with them will also find great amounts of real estate also held in trust that we can access.

Yours faithfully and in hopes of future good business and mutual prosperity.

[shunra.livejournal.com]

Do you think we could get Poulson and Bernanke to do a version of the parrot sketch?

[momwolf.livejournal.com]

Can I steal this - with proper attribution?

[pecunium.livejournal.com]

What to attribute? I didn't write it, I saw it other places.

Feel free.

Meme idea

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

Start referring to him as Henry "Pat" Paulson.

Would only work for people our age and up, but it might still do some good.

[martyn44.livejournal.com]

'... we are constantly under surveillance.'

Quis custodiet ipsos custodies?

[don-fitch.livejournal.com]

Thanks, that's a delightful parody. I guess it's a parody, anyhow -- the formally-proposed Bill is/was such an obvious scam that it's difficult to create something even more absurd, short of a Ransom Note in the appropriate typeface. (Mind you, there are indications or suggestions that the original Bill was crafted over a period of weeks or months, so it would be expected to be comprehensive and well-polished.)