Disgusted

[pecunium]

I am suffering from the strange sense of abused/ashamed, silly, and angry.

About six weeks ago I shucked foolish pride and applied for food stamps. A about the beginning of Sept. they sent me a letter with an appointment date; today. I collected the various documents to prove that I was, in fact, poor; which was when I saw they had me being interviewed about Medi-Cal. Not only did I not apply for Medi-Cal, I am not eligible (because I am, for the same reaons I was applying for food stamps, completely covered by the VA).

So, at five minutes past eight I called my case worker and she said that wasn't a problem, she'd fix the coding, come in.

So I did. Saw the man at the desk, called her office, told her machine I was there. She came out, about the time my app't was scheduled, and told me they were still working on the food stamps vs. Medi-Cal issue.

About half an hour, and a couple more reassurances, they noticed what I'd not known when I filled out the application. East Palo Alto (where I live) is in San Mateo Cty. I'd applied in Santa Clara. No good. The money comes from the state, but the counties administer it, so my application wasn't valid.

I trundled my (more than a trifle disappointed/frustrated) self to the San Mateo Office, tolerably sure that by the time any benefits were being decided, the GI Bill would have arrived and I'd be collecting enough money that I'd be denied (because this go round has taken something like seven weeks).

But I filled it out, and waited around and got called back (which hadn't happened in Santa Clara; the San Mateo office was much quieter, and less haunted by despair and hopelessness, but I digress).

He's asking me questions (why I'd waited so long, etc.), and it seems I am going to get a fast turnaround grant (they can give you aid in as little as three days...), when I said I was in school.

Oops. Seems going to school, and being unemployed, makes one ineligble. One has to be available for full-time work, and a student is presumptively unable.

The only way around it is to have a job, which pays one a weekly wage equal to 20 hours of the federal minumum wage. The more time I spend at the margins of the system, the more I appreciate the parctical ways in which the poor are forced to stay poor. "Why don't they go to school, and improve themselves?"

Because if they do, they starve.

Comments

[laughingrat]

Jesus, that's insane.

Here through my Network page, FYI.

[pecunium]

Welcome. I confess that this is, primarily, a backup for my Lj, so I don't check the comments as often as I ought.

[pecunium]

Is the icon from a Gaiman piece? I know I've seen it before.

[laughingrat]

It's from one of the more elegant movie posters for the original "Nosferatu"! :-D

[pecunium]

I knew I recognised it.

[ookpik]

They starve even if they get food stamps. I have a client who's living on SSDI; in Massachusetts, that doesn't cover much more than her rent. Her food stamp allotment is, IIRC, eighteen dollars a month. Several days a month, she just doesn't eat at all. Damnit.

[ashiegrrrl.livejournal.com]

Because if they do, they starve.

If I went to school full-time and worked only part-time I'd not only starve, but have to file bankruptcy and give up my car which means I couldn't do either.

*hugs*

I completely understand and the system is totally broken.

[kate-schaefer.livejournal.com]

How these things are administered varies, but around here, it's possible to get food from the food bank even if one is not eligible for food stamps, since they're different sets of qualifications. Food bank supplies lean heavily to starches, which could allow you to save your cash for vegetables.

[khalinche.livejournal.com]

You have nothing to be ashamed of. I think it's disgraceful that someone who was in the armed forces for so long should not be offered more help.

My friend mirrorshard wrote an lj-entry a little while ago about the process of applying for state disability benefits in the UK, and how self-esteem-shatteringly inefficient and difficult it is. His post is here.

[lorebubeck.livejournal.com]

Pardon the language, but that is fucked up!

[ckd]

You're not the only person on my flist getting dragged through the bureaucratic mess that's put in front of anyone seeking benefits. In their case, "the person" who can give out "that form" wasn't available, so NO FORM FOR YOU!

I'll echo khalinche, also. You have nothing to be ashamed of; the people who set up the hurdles and mazes, on the other hand....

[tfcocs.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing this story. It should be mandatory reading for all social workers.

[pecunium.livejournal.com]

I know I don't have anything to be ashamed of, not really, but it's hard. There is a pervasive sense that one has failed. One is not a full-person if one isn't making a living.

This time was easier, the real pill to swallow was filling out the first form. This was more abused, and ashamed that I was so crushed at being told I was 1: in the wrong office and 2:, "No Soup for YOU."

If I'd been in the right office the first go round, I might have had dedicated food money for the past two months. It would have been more than I needed, and I could have stocked up on bulk items (rice, beans, flour, some frozen meats), and been able to weather the painful gap in my GI Bill (which is running late, and may be another month to actually start arriving).

So I'm in Catch-22. Give up on school; and defer the GI Bill Stipend, so I can get half that much and be a able to accept the 40 hour a week job no one has offered me (something like 60 resumes out in the past two months, and the only answers have been a handful of, "We reviewed your application and went with someone else, we will look at it again if we get another openig, and another handful of scams).

The worst part is, I don't need much, and I don't need it for long; so the guilt of asking (when there are those who need it more dessperately than it seems to me I do) was hard to swallow. Then I get told I don't qualify because I don't have a job?

WTF?

[bifemmefatale.livejournal.com]

I know this song all too well.

Call all your local churches and Salvation Army offices. Most of them have food pantries and the majority of them are not picky about proof of being poor. They usually just make you provide your name and address. If you find a church food bank that gets the government food instead of just local donations, you can get some really good stuff. Whole frozen chickens, trail mix, ground buffalo and gallons of frozen peaches were some of our favorites. If you hit up 2 or 3 of them you should get enough provender to make it for a while.

[nancylebov.livejournal.com]

Also, Angel Food Ministries has a solid reputation for good food and no harassment.

[twicet.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing this. I find it difficult to comprehend the fact, you served your country for several years, to then be denied food stamps!!

[bifemmefatale.livejournal.com]

Social workers *know* what people go thru but are powerless to change much. That's like asking your teller to change bank policy. It's the politicians who should read this.

[dichroic.livejournal.com]

I have a strong hunch that this is a case of the Law of Unintended Consequences - in other words, that lawmakers' intentions were anything but keeping people stuck in poverty. But when policy is made by people who haven't been in that situation and who don't ever actually talk to those who are, stupid decisions are made.

Unfortunately starving because people are stupid and unimaginative is just as bad as starving because they're malicious.

[tfcocs.livejournal.com]

Agreed; politicians should read this. Let me amend my original suggestion: all social work STUDENTS should read this. There are far too many who go into the field to "become a therapist", who have little interest in the welfare of others below their own economic strata.

[pecunium.livejournal.com]

I don't think (from my various dealings with them; some as friends, some from the client's perspective, and some from observation as the friend of people dealing with them), many of those last long in the field.

The guy today, who let me know I wasn't eligible, was obviously pained by it. It's not his fault that I felt screwed, he knew I was getting screwed, and it was his, unhappy, task to tell me.

[pecunium.livejournal.com]

There don't seem to be any within fifty miles of my zipcode, at least according to the search function on that site.

[michiexile]

Reacting to probably the least important bit of the story, but:
You live in EPA!?!? So did I until last March! Between the creek and 101.

[pecunium.livejournal.com]

Hee.... I am right there. It's more a slough, but that's me.

As to import, if I lived a mile west, things would be very different now.

Where are you now? (in general terms).

[michiexile]

Right now? In San Jose, awaiting boarding.

More generally? Still @ Stanford, but living in the Tenderloin.

[pecunium.livejournal.com]

So what, CalTrain to work every morning?