Some poesy

[pecunium]

A clumsy word, a thoughtless phrase
and he's waiting for the axe to fall.
it probably won't rise to that
but the mind is a muddy place
and the heart is in hopless thrall

The lover is a foolish slave:
living by looks and dying by glances,
with so much at stake, and so much to lose
it amazing that anyone chances

So he sits by the phone,
and starts at the post
Looking for the reprieve
and dreading the warrant:

waiting for the axe to fall

Comments

[packbat]

This is nice!

[benet.livejournal.com]

That about sums up this time last year, for me. Very eloquent; thank you.

[fajrdrako.livejournal.com]

Woo. Very good.

[esoterica1693.livejournal.com]

Very nice. I'm "in crush" at the moment myself. So far nothing has developed, so some senses of the word "lover" would be overstating things to the extreme , but your middle stanza still fits perfectly. That and "but the mind is a muddy place and the heart is in hopeless thrall."

[pecunium.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

I think it's a little weak, the end sort of lurches.

But it's not terrible, just not perfect.