Feminist Marriage
Nov. 13th, 2007 08:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pecuniumMaia and I are not married (eight years on, and all but, however we've not tied the, proverbial, knot... for anyone who cares, she's the one dragging her heels, and her reasons are more than reasonable, but neither of those are here, nor there).
We do, however, have a, "feminist" relationship.
I bring this up because Candy, of Candy Poses (to whom I passed along a Thinking Blogger, some time ago) had a couple of posts up about how how men and women relate to each other in the bedroom. I didn't have much to say to the first post. My comments to the second are, actually, more in relation to the first, but I wanted to direct people to the post she links to.
So, Passionate Feminism in Marriagehere it is. The money quote, for me, And everything else about feminist marriage? Sheeh, seems pretty much like a regular marriage, right? A lot of love, incredible opportunities to spend with my children, no unusual problems, way more flexibility in the chores department (my partner nags me about putting away laundry, I nag her, believe it or not, about not getting to the supper dishes before stuff dries to them), quite a lot of personal and professional respect, and, of course, confidence that if something happened to one of us the other, plus our children, would be taken care of since neither of us think it's wrong that she earns as much or more in her profession as I can in mine. In other words feminist marriages are far more like *partnerships* where everyone pulls their weight, yeah, but where everybody shares the fun as well, *without* the fun being at the expense of anyone else in the partnership.
What's not to get passionate about?
IMO, nothing, Equal is better.
We do, however, have a, "feminist" relationship.
I bring this up because Candy, of Candy Poses (to whom I passed along a Thinking Blogger, some time ago) had a couple of posts up about how how men and women relate to each other in the bedroom. I didn't have much to say to the first post. My comments to the second are, actually, more in relation to the first, but I wanted to direct people to the post she links to.
So, Passionate Feminism in Marriagehere it is. The money quote, for me, And everything else about feminist marriage? Sheeh, seems pretty much like a regular marriage, right? A lot of love, incredible opportunities to spend with my children, no unusual problems, way more flexibility in the chores department (my partner nags me about putting away laundry, I nag her, believe it or not, about not getting to the supper dishes before stuff dries to them), quite a lot of personal and professional respect, and, of course, confidence that if something happened to one of us the other, plus our children, would be taken care of since neither of us think it's wrong that she earns as much or more in her profession as I can in mine. In other words feminist marriages are far more like *partnerships* where everyone pulls their weight, yeah, but where everybody shares the fun as well, *without* the fun being at the expense of anyone else in the partnership.
What's not to get passionate about?
IMO, nothing, Equal is better.
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no subject
Date: 2007-11-14 01:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-15 12:08 am (UTC)Yes. Absolutely. In my experience (10 years of marriage in a 15-year relationship) the definition of "equal" is sometimes a moving target, depending on the interests and needs of the people involved.
I'm coming to believe there are no absolute values where relationships are concerned.
no subject
Date: 2007-11-15 03:20 am (UTC)TK